Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Chelsea Can Get Back its 50 Million - And More.


So much has been talked about the last moment signing of Torres by Chelsea in January this year and that too for a freaking 50 million pounds, the English transfer record.  On the top of it, the poor guy has not been able to score since that day.  Obviously he is under tremendous pressure to perform. So much that Ancelotti plans to rest him in a match where there is high probability of him scoring.  But fear not, a solution presents itself.

It is simple – if someone paid Chelsea a pound every time Torres tries to justify his move from Anfield, or every time he provides an explanation about how he needs to settle down in the Bigger city and Bigger club, Chelsea would easily earn more than 50 million, even before this season gets over.  Obviously Torres has more than 50 million reasons for both. Chelsea and Abramovich can make lots of money through this. If he scores any goals, that would be a bonus.

But who would pay? There are lots: there are the gun-makers in London who would pay if Nando mentions how he is practicing shooting with Cole, even if he does not mention an air rifle yet.  Then there could be those boy scout clubs who would pay every time Torres talks about the Big time camaraderie that he enjoys at Stamford Bridge. Big Ben could pay him every time he mentions the word “bigger”. Both United and City could pay whenever he talks about how he dropped the idea of a move to Manchester due to his loyalty to Liverpool. I am sure, since he has more than 50 million reasons lined up, he ought to have more than 50 million buyers for those reasons also lined up.

I am sure this strategy would reduce the pressure he is feeling and he would be able to score for CFC in future, as long as a Bigger club doesn’t come knocking.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Are We Done With Promoting National Integration?

See, the banter's woken up for good now. So you have to join in. :)

Recently I saw a live performance on Mile Sur Mera Tumhara by a bunch of kids at Ramoji Film City, Hyderabad. While the performance itself was impressive, it made me nostalgic and I YouTubed the video out.


I know there is a new Bollywood advertisement that goes Phir Mile Sur Mera Tumhara.  But I don't consider it worthy of my banter. The reasons will need a blog or two in themselves.

Anyways, nowadays whenever I listen to or watch this song - one question bugs me. Why don't we have this song anymore on TV or Radio? The original idea seemed to be to promote national integration by making regional superstars and Bollywood stars sing the same couple of lines in different languages. When it used to be telecast way back in 80s, Punjab (Khalistan and 84) was a burning issue, every state in Northeast seemed to have a secessionist movement going, Babri Masjid was still standing, terrorism was limited to Kashmir, and Sachin Tendulkar(I can't engage in banter without mentioning Him once) was just terrorizing Mumbai (oops Bombay) school bowlers. So national integration needed to be promoted, more so on a linguistic basis.

Today, the Naxal movement is as secessionist in nature as Khalistan, nothing much has changed in Northeast, Babri Masjid has been demolished, and terrorism has reached each and every metro in India. Obviously a few positives have also emerged: India's economy has grown and is growing, infrastructure has been developed (yes, cell phones work in parts of Kashmir and Northeast too), and Tendulkar is loved across the country.

But can we say that national integration has been achieved? When Thackerays beat up North Indians in Mumbai, when 1 million people (plan to tomorrow) march in their own state to demand a new state, and when a large number of oppressed-for-years people are abducting random bureaucrats to demand this or that. I think there's still a long way to go in achieving national integration so complete, that it be taken off the media agenda completely.

The reason why DD used to telecast it in 80s and early 90s was to reach out to those for whom the idea of their villages, khaps, and castes was stronger than the idea of their own country and its unity. We can safely assume that the target audience included the literally illiterate populace and the ideologically illiterate populace. Today, literal literacy has increased but so has the base so we still have 350 million who cannot read and write but can access visual or audio media. The ideologically illiteracy has increased unfortunately.

May be not on a linguistic basis, but still we are all pulling in different directions due to our economic standing, our ethnicity, our education, our gender, or whatever divide you may want to consider. The idea behind promoting national integration (Hindi, Khaadi, movement against untouchability, the independence struggle itself, or an orchaestrated Mile Sur) was to make all of us overlook these divides and pull the nation in the same direction - front. The idea still holds true.

The idea needs to be conveyed just like other such ideas like AIDS awareness, polio eradication, and literacy promotion are being conveyed.  Through the media that most of India has access to. And for such an important idea, excuses such as large number of private channels and depleting DD viewer numbers should not matter.

The current generation of kids, earners, grown ups, and the elderly needs a reminder every now and then, just like they needed it 20 years back. They also need a song to be nostalgic about 20 years henceforth.

PS: Like most who will read this, I do not watch DD much. So if such a campaign is on there, I wouldn't know. But to cover the ideologically illiterate, such a campaign needs to cover all channels and not through Bollywood ads.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Why India Has A Good Chance Of Winning This Cup?

I can name this blog Kumbhakarna blog officially. It usually wakes up after every 6 months and tries its hand at some inane banter. Well, it's the World Cup (#wc11 wala) that has woken it up this time around. The India-England TIE to be more  precise.

Pundits (on Cricinfo, FB, and Twitter) are talking about how both teams deserved to lose and all. Concerned citizens of India are wondering aloud whether this Indian team can bring back the world cup with this sort of bowling outfit. Well this is my attempt to calm their nerves.

In all world cups (other than 1979, 1996 and 2007), the eventual victors have had to go through some really nervy moments and some major losses also.

In 1975, it was Sarfraz Nawaz who gave a major headache to Clive Lloyd as Pakistan almost beat WI in one of the Group B matches.  They needed Andy Roberts and Murray to take them through, with a last wicket stand of 64 runs.

In 83, we all know what a scare Zimbabwe gave us. But for Kapil Paaji we might as well have gone down to 34/10 from 17/5.  What usually misses our collective attention is that India also lost two matches to Aus and WI with margins of 162 and 66 runs respectively. 

In 87, I was too focused on India to care about the Aussies but India sure did give them a run for their money, losing by 1 run in a group match. And obviously Gatting looked like getting there before he tried his hand at reverse sweeping Border in the final.

The most vivid scenes from 92 for me are Miandad jumping up and down in front of More. Yes Pakistan lost that one (as they always against India).  I remember Lara and Richardson chasing down 220 without losing a wicket - against Pakistan. England also scared the shit out of them in a no result.  How the hell did they manage to win the cup?

1999 you say? Aussies lost to Kiwis and Pakistan before tying their semi-final against the Springboks (greatest ODI and all).  

While the Aussies went through the 2003 edition unbeaten, they had their fair share of scares. You should have seen their faces when Bhajji was belting them out of the ground at Centurion. Pakistan and England also managed to scare them before Symonds and Bichel bailed them out.

1979, 1996, and 2007 are exceptions in this rule. Though frankly, in 2007, I didn't watch any cricket from the moment India were shut out by Sri Lanka till Bangaldesh Vs India test matches started with Telugu commentary.  1996 - Aussies and WI did not travel to Sri Lanka, else they might also have been scared. And ask any Lankan in Eden on that fateful semifinal night. I am sure they were all scared of being burnt alive by the crazy arsonists in the crowd.

We had a continuation of the rule in T20 World Cups as well.  India nearly lost to Pakistan and indeed lost to Kiwis in 2007, before Misbah tried managing his pallu and lost the plot. After that T20 WCs have been continuations of IPLs so don't recall any scares.

But the point is, it is ok if England managed to score 338 in an Indian ground against a bowling line up boasting more than 600 ODI wickets among themselves. I would say it would be better if Ireland and Netherlands also scare (only scare. Jail them if they win) us a bit. Seems that is the only way India is going to win the Cup. God, obviously has to keep scoring those centuries.